Carpe Diem Scroto The Book blog

I honestly don't know how authors especially first-time authors can afford to get their work published. Even going the route of self-publishing is expensive. I was crunching numbers and shocked by what my out of pocket was going to be. Not including trying to regain or even make a profit. I can understand why so many people go through traditional methods of publishing, which even then can be in the tens of thousands of dollars. 

This will not discourage me, but what it has done is open my eyes to a whole industry that I never thought that much about. I honestly just thought it was a one and done type thing, not realizing all the things that actually go into it. So, in that regard I'm thankful, because I always love learning new things. And it also has provided me with a drive to prove to myself that I can get it done.

I will say this, the $20 laptop that I picked up at a thrift store, really has gotten its workout. As I am typing this, I'm using it. It has become my main office computer, and will probably continue to be just for work, like my other laptop was meant to be, but ended up being a catch all for everything I did. I don't know what the difference is between the two of them except that I think the thrift store one, though older, is just more of a workhorse than my newer one. 

Hurry up and wait. It seems like that is the theme of the last few weeks. I knew that getting the manuscript wrote was going to be one of the biggest hurdles to get over, but I never anticipated the waiting game. Not having things within my control and having to wait on others to get them done is a new experience for me, especially when it comes to one of my projects.

Sitting here at my keyboard pounding out this blog post is keeping my fingers busy because the tapping, the rain tinkling on my roof, the glugging of the clogged downspouts, the constant stream of cars with their wet tires driving up and down the street, and the hum of the computer fan, is all producing the most amazing dopamine right now. 

I have other things that I could be doing, other unfinished works that I could be fleshing out while I am sitting here on this cold Pacific Northwest midwinter day. But instead, I'm keeping myself busy with the uncontrollable deluge of what-ifs. I'm in contact with Denning Software and Digital Marketing Services Group about the possibility of a new website, and the flow of email's between us, has given me some pause in my day. I love the website that I currently have for Carpe Diem Scroto, but I also feel like it is somewhat lacking. Though again this is probably just my idle time and wanting to keep creating. 

 Well, I came across a small Indy publishing company called Spectrum Books that publishes LGBTQ authors. I'm not sure if my book nor its premise will fit with their company, but I thought that I would submit a request to see if they bite or not. I'm not sure if I will even be able to afford to work with them, but everything that I read on their site seems promising and like it would be a company that I would like to work with. If not for Carpe Diem Scroto, then for one of my short story/novels that I have been working on in tandem with CDS. 

But for now, I am still just pouring my heart and soul into this book. I also talked to a marketing company called Digital Marketing Services Group who may be revamping the website and helping with some other things. And I am really looking forward to my meeting with Live Free Productions coming up on the 19th of March, to go over crowd funding and community promotional ideas, and a few other key points.

So, all in all things are moving in the right direction, and I feel like I'm getting some traction, I am just hoping that I am able to pull this all together by the end of September so that I can have everything submitted to the publishers or uploaded to Amazon/Barnes and Noble in time for the publishing in November.

Whenever someone sits down to start writing, the amount of static in their mind is sometimes deafening. You have some many different ideas and things that you just want to get out from your brain to the paper. You begin to write feverishly in hopes of making sense the jumble of words, concepts, and ideas that are rolling around your head. 

But what no one talks about are the "quite times" when you have just gone on a caffeine fueled spree and written several pages and you sit back and catch your breath. Those golden moments where the dopamine is flooding your system, and everything feels surreal.  Then the intrusive thoughts come creeping in. The darkness of your own mind, playing tricks on you. Making you start to second guess every single syllable that you just typed for a full hour or two. Making you start to think about the what if's and the rabbit hole of self-doubt and every negative thing that has ever been said about you or your efforts trying to make some sense of your existence.

That is also why Carpe Diem Scroto is such a passion project of mine. Because I know that I am not the only person out there struggling with depression and dealing with mental health issues. But I also know how lonely it can be, because we tend to isolate to keep ourselves from "infecting" others. And well the whole stigma behind mental health. Which is one thing that I have to say that I appreciate about the Millennials is their openness about their mental health and being advocates for improvement and change. 

So while I sit here writing this and putting off any other editing work that I need to do with the book and some tweaks I need to make to the website, I'm just enjoying the quite time, and trying not to allow the intrusive thoughts to take hold and enjoy the beauty of a cold winter afternoon.

Please take some time to go check out the website and the instagram account and also join the facebook page too. And show your support by liking and commenting on my pictures and sharing with your friends and family. And if you would like to become a sponsor then please consider doing so by checking out the sponsorship tiers on the site.

So, It's been almost a month since I finished my manuscript and now, I am just waiting for the editing to get done and then it's off to the illustrator and then finally once i get it back from the illustrator I'll do the finial edits and then time to get it published. I am pushing to have all of this done by October 15th so that I can have it printed by November 1st and then have the book launch party around the 5th or the 10th. 

I am so nervous about how the book will be received, and if people will even like it or if they will think that its hyped-up crap. But I also know that is just my decades of self-doubt in my head.

So besides working on my book, I have been working on the building up the website for it too. Each time I think "ok it's done" I have another idea that I want to incorporate into it. Like the other day I created an FAQ section, which I think will give people more understanding about who I am and what the book is about. I post a lot about the book already on my YouTube Channel Hello Cupcake It's Me, and on my #podcast Hello Cupcake It's Me a Podcast, and on my Personal , Hello Cupcake It's Me , and Carpe Diem Scroto #instagram account's 

This coming Tuesday 2-27-2024 I'm meeting with a PR company Live Free Productions to see what we can do to get the book more exposure and even get some crowdfunding going for it. It seems that every turn I have a hidden fee or something that is requiring money that I just don't have. So, to have some capital to work with to cover that would be amazing. 

So thats whats going on in life right now. How about you?

We often over look out own needs to make sure others are taken care of. Today, take what YOU need! 

So here is the book cover mockup so far. I'm really loving it. Thoughts?